My love was a wildfire
It burned us both.
Before that a flame,
Invaded your hearth.
My love was a wildfire
My love was a wildfire
It burned us both.
Before that a flame,
Invaded your hearth.
And not just that. I’ve finally started editing and polishing my chapters before releasing them. I’m proud of my achievements, but you have to keep in mind that they are just that, achievements.
It didn’t happen overnight or by accident. In fact, on my awful previous blog, I had been going daily or weekly or something. Either way, it was consistent and I was writing… The horrid first draft of the Solune Prince. Please don’t go looking, it is still live.
Well what happened?
I got a new job and lost the free time. My last post on that blog was something along the lines of “I’ll be back in a few weeks once I adjust!”
Yeah right. I never did get back. That’s right, my first try I failed. But I learned something huge.
Your commitment is defined by whether or not you work on your most difficult days.
So when I was tired or when I switched jobs again, I still wrote, even if it was 500 words.
And it got easier. I no longer had to dangle the carrot. (Never take the carrot before you’re done. Never.) I didn’t have to force the 1000+ words out. Other things got in the way of my writing! No time for league, I’ve got a chapter to finish!
Now I go 1500-2000 words nearly every night. It’s become second nature. And, since I have started in April I have only missed 3 days.
I realized that saying no to yourself doesn’t work. If you just give up all your hobbies and hope you’ll write, you know what’ll happen instead? You’ll lose motivation and do nothing all day. Instead, you have to write to a quota. Mine was one post per day. No word limit, just one piece that my reader(s) would enjoy. And that’s all I did.
After about three months, I didn’t want to stop anymore, I didn’t want to play League of Legends during my breaks from writing because they took too long, I wanted to get back to work asap.
I’m actually in worse condition than I was back then. I play League again, and find it kind of boring. I don’t write as much, and I don’t have as much motivation for it. I have no idea why, probably the stress of collage starting up soon. (If you want to support me, follow my Patreon!) I still do one post a day, and usually cap 1.5k, so overall it’s an improvement, but still I feel really off. I hope it doesn’t affect the quality of my work.
This has been a difficult year, possible the most difficult year of my life.
So September was a bit of a hell. See, I was supposed to be going back to University, but manic people don’t save money and so I literally could not go back even though I wanted to. Worse, as my summer job was ending my mom’s boyfriend threatened to kick me out of his house if I didn’t get a new job. I don’t stand for that kind of treatment, so I left anyway. Even though I was incredibly manic, I still stand behind leaving.
At the end of August, I appealed to a high school friend, Brad, in my hometown 4h north to help me out and give me a place. So, I went back to my hometown and lived there, no questions asked, and decent rent for a room. I stayed for about four months.
So, living on my own and a little surprised about the whole ordeal, September was my first month as a real adult. One year of post-secondary didn’t really do much for me maturity wise, and I think any parents can confirm that that’s the norm. Anyway, I applied to a few jobs, screwed around, played video games and watched Netflix. But I also started doing what I always do when I have a lot of free time.
August had been a mess, off meds for a couple weeks, and in that time I managed to not go to school and to lose my place of living. I actually continued to not take my meds after moving too, because I am smart. /s Anyway, I started a YouTube channel and a blog. Both are dead, but the blog was important. It gave me experience that was very helpful when I started danieltriumph.com.
I also drew. A lot.
October I got hired at a department store… like a small town version of Wal-Mart. November, I woke up one Saturday with crippling depression and an ear infection, and I just watched Luke Cage until Sunday. Needless to say, I went back on my meds and within four days I was back to that normal, semi-functional depression us bipolar kids are so used to. In time, I got at my job.
December is when I started paying off my debts. By February I had my credit card, back rent, and school balance paid in full. That’s about $1800 in two months on minimum wage. February was Kabaret; I do amateur acting with the community. I got to play a Viking, a Newfoundlander, and But, it was a bit of fun. Then I hovered until April when I got a better paying job.
April and May I failed to save. In fact, I am god-awful at saving, and so this month I only had half of what I needed to go back. Shame. But in April I bought and started www.danieltriumph.com, my blog. Since then I’ve posted a piece of fiction every single day. See, I’m an English / creative writing student. I should be writing, but to be honest this blog is the first time I’ve actually finished a piece.
April brought two big changes. I moved into my other friend’s grandparent’s spare room and dropped my rent by a lot. Then I also got a new job that paid 1.5 times what I was making at Giant Tiger.
I learned very quickly that I was allowed to listen to music at my new job. That lead to a search for audiobooks. I think the first thing I listened to was The Lost World by Michael Crichton. Then, I figured since I had forty hours a week, I would listen to Harry Potter. I’ll keep it short about that. Harry Potter was a disappointment, stick with the movies. For more info, check out my reviews.
July is the beginning of hell.
On the 26th my tires locked and I spun around 180 degrees, landing in the opposite ditch, facing the opposite direction. We’re still dealing with insurance bull. Since then I’ve been without a car, meaning I take a cab into the town to do my groceries. It’s $13 one way, ridiculous way to live. I took the day off of work and wallowed. Then at around two in the morning, I had a weird idea. I followed that idea until the end. Here’s what came of it.
Anyway, things kept getting worse. On the day of my birthday party, no one contacts me. I get worried. I decide to walk into town, it’s an hour walk. I get into town, have McDonalds, and start messaging people. Jeremy, a friend and ex-Giant Tiger coworker (I think he still works there), messages back. “Oh yeah, I’m still in. I had muted the conversation and forgotten about it lol.” Hey that’s cool.
Things beginning to look up, I head to the LCBO and get Screech (Newfoundland rum) and a six of Stella Artois. Then Nick messages me, “Hey I’ll take you to a restaurant, do you prefer whiskey or tequila?” “Whiskey.” We eat out. I have an appetizer and not much else, as my stomach is still filled with double big mac. We have a really good talk about religion. It turns out that Nick, and atheist, was inspired by my ordainment and also became a minister!
So a small group of us get together. Rum > whiskey. It’s a great night. We play boardgames, go out to the 24-hour convenience store and play Pokemon Go (I thought that app was dead to be honest, guess not), and then get back and watch Anna Karenina 2012. I completely spaced out for the last half hour, but let’s just say the 2012 adaptation isn’t done right.
Then we got home. I don’t know how, cab maybe?
But now it’s crunch time. My job is becoming the most boring, torturous thing I’ve ever done. I check on my university application. My application for second year English has been stalled, and so I call the school. Need more information about what I was doing during Sept 2015- April 2016… Umm, I was at that same university? They should know that, I was at their school? Well, I send the info. Automatic email reply. “On vacation for a week.”
So one week into August I call them. “Oh, yeah your file was in new student not returning student. Can’t do much though our system’s down.”
So one day later, “Yeah, you’re in good standing, just register your courses, apply for a loan if you need to.” I’m in! I apply for a government loan (they’re less dangerous) and it’s pending now.
Then literally yesterday an old college friend messages me on facebook. “I saw you might be coming back to Windsor. The place I got with Dmar has an open room, interested?”
Is God on my side?
I just finished paying the first and last month’s rent. Now I have like $100 in my account, but my next pay is very large due to over time. (I got it today, over $1000… Should be good.)
So, as of today I’m going back to university. Application got approved, government loans will probably cover not only the course but also housing and a bit of food. Just when I start looking for housing, an old college friend tells me he’s looking for another roommate. It’s like gears shifting into place.
I’ll tell you if things work out in a couple months.
I’ll start this introduction off by saying that no one should really be drinking energy drinks. Now, I’ll end it by saying that I’m still a foolish young adult and so I drink energy drinks despite knowing that.
Why? Well, I’ll tell you why specifically at the end, but for now, here’s a rundown of the energy drinks I’ve used and how well they’ve worked.
Rockstar is probably my least favourite, although I have a friend that drinks it almost exclusively. Rockstar has a slight crash but seems to give me zero extra energy despite being loaded with caffeine and sugar. The one thing Rockstar has over every single other brand I’ve tried is that it tastes good. Rockstar has really good flavours. But, if you’re drinking energy drinks for the taste you really should try pop or juice instead… Rockstar is the third biggest energy drink company by a large margin.
Monster is the second largest energy drink, but only a bit. Monster seems to be a middle ground, a baseline energy drink. Gives a nice kick, and then four hours later it all comes back and you have to stop what you’re doing, maybe take a nap. I’ve used Monster a lot in the past, and even a bit now, but not so much. If you’re looking for a place to start, try Monster. If you like the jitters, try Monster. But if you want to be productive, well, keep reading.
Red Bull is the big one, and for good reason. They’ve mobilized with a huge advertising campaign. They have dedicated Red Bull fridges in certain convenience stores. Red Bull is really trying to make you notice them. Should you? No, not really… unless you like energy drinks. Red Bull is my “productivity” energy drink. In fact, writing this now, I’m drinking one. My sleep was a bit wack last night, and I’ve been feeling really lazy when it came to writing. I needed a kick, and coffee wasn’t going to cut it, although I had one of those too.
Red Bull has a very light crash. Listen, I drove for seventeen hours broken only by a three hour nap, and drank 1.5L (that’s six of the little cans). It was a desperate time, I was in a rush driving halfway across the country. But I lived. Would never do it again, I don’t drink more than one can of any energy drink ever, except for that one time. Red Bull actually hits you weaker than Monster, surprising I know. But that’s actually a good thing. See, instead of feeling jittery and full of energy, you feel a slow burn, actual energy. Sort of.
Guru is a strange creature. I didn’t even know it existed, and I doubt you did too. I can only seem to find it in the large grocery store. Here’s the think, its gimmick is that it’s all natural and organic. What? What edgy energy drink consumer cares about that? Well, I decided to try it. It tastes pretty okay for an energy drink, and even better it peaks higher and longer than Red Bull. You get that slow burn, but also some actual energy too. I like Guru, and I might switch from Red Bull. It has a slightly larger crash though, but it’s not really an issue. Check it out if you like Red Bull, or are looking for something… organic.
Coffee? Yeah well, I decided to give the classic a try too. Coffee is actually the most like Red Bull. It keeps you from being tired, but it doesn’t really keep you awake. It’s like, preventative. But let’s get real here, Coffee has the same amount of caffeine as energy drinks, about 100+ mg. Some types of coffee have double! At the end of the day caffeine is what’s keeping you up, alright? The other stuff is put in for big numbers. They haven’t bothered to actually test if it actually keeps you awake, I’m not joking, google it.
At the end of the day, I really should switch to coffee or tea, but like I said, I’m still young. Gotta stay as edgy as possible, right? And what’s more edgy than consuming chemicals out of a black and green can? Nothing!
So, Red Bull is my go to if I want to get stuff done. Monster more if I want to play video games. Don’t drink more than one, it says that on the can, and you get diminishing returns, trust me. And, at some point you might consider coffee or tea, it does the same stuff, but it’s not full of literally random chemicals for no reason. Seriously.
The dark of the night,
The crimson eyes,
The flame of the light,
The previous ties.
I’m clenching my teeth,
My dubious sight,
I cannot believe
What’s seen in my eyes
“Have not you been killed?”
“You cannot believe,
What’s happened to me”
She suddenly said,
Recounting her fee,
“I have been killed,
It wasn’t quite me,
The body left here,
Cast out to the sea.”
I thought what she said,
Knew not what she mean,
The words I was fed,
Were not quite believed.
“The doubles,” She said,
“Created by Death,
That’s what I am now.
Released my first breath,
The day that she died,
I killed at my side.”
“Is that who you are?”
I finally said.
“A copy, right now,
Of my old friend?”
She nodded and then,
A touch of a frown,
She said back to me,
“I’m now feeling down.
I’ve all of her mind,
All her memories.
I’m not the same girl
She happened to be,
I have different thoughts,
Right here within me.
I looked at her now,
I thought what she said,
Made no sense to me.
I lowered my sword,
I put it away,
I left her my word.
“You prove it to me,
If I’m to believe,
And later we’ll think,
On what you have said.”
11:35pm! I cut it close, but I made it! I am not a poet, and I don’t particularly like poety, but sometimes it comes to me, so I jot it down and it’s not that great, but here we go.
Run on sentence,