Notes and Plans – The Solune Prince

The Solune Prince chapters I’ve completed are… kind of meh.

If I were to put myself in the shoes of a reader, I might think: This series is kind of boring. And it doesn’t seem like it’s going anywhere. And if it is, it’s going there very slowly. There situations and characters seem a little lacking. Some of these chapters go nowhere, or add nothing to the story. And why did it take so long to get here?

These are pretty serious concerns, right? I mean, it’s been 20 chapters and not much has happened. If the average chapter is 1000 words (and it’s actually a little more), then that means I’m 20 000 words in and I’m still only at the beginning.

It’s overwhelming. I feel like I’ve sort of shotgun-vomited and pantsed myself into a narrative about nothing, filled with boring characters, and then insulted the reader by adding a “first draft disclaimer.” I mean, maybe I should actually put a little more effort into making my pieces of a high enough quality that I don’t feel the need for disclaimers.

I was at a point where I was almost ready to throw up my hands and drop the serial altogether.

That’s what I was thinking.

And then, on the way to the library, I listened to Falter.

See, that song was one of the biggest inspirational pieces for The Solune Prince, and hearing it again, I remembered a lot of what I was feeling back when I started. I decided to return to The Solune Prince project for sure after that, but with a different mentality.


To practice, to learn, to improve.

This is a first draft, I’m sure there are a lot of people who write a first draft by the seat of their pants, read it over, and then think, “man this is awful.” And, that’s what I’m thinking. It’s pretty awful! But that’s okay, because it’s a first draft. A second draft can (and if it’s got glaring faults, should) be drastically different than the first.

I’m not going to go back and fix the first twenty (geez, twenty?) scenes until I’m done though. I’m not even going to try to fix every single problem I’ve had with those scenes going forward.

I’m just going to focus on one thing at a time, and this time, it’s planning. So, I’m going to do a lot more work planning the rest of the Solune Prince. You know, it was going somewhere, I just kept getting into tangents, and hopefully with a plan, I can avoid that.

In addition, outlining will allow me to know a little bit better where each scene is going, and what it’s trying to do. I may end up with less frequent, but higher quality scenes as a result of planning. Maybe I’ll even outline individual scenes, I don’t really know.

I actually drew out a basic outline before writing this. It looks like I’ve got seven acts to go. Seven acts to get my act together haha. I’ll work on the outline a bit more before posting another scene.

Daniel Triumph.

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On a side note, I really need to update my categories.

The Solune Prince

The Solune Prince is the story Chloe Rhye, Seventh Prince of the Solune.


“We sent half of the police force out into the desert to find Rottts, the heir. She became a mercenary. A month later they return, half of them dead the other half traumatized, okay? Like, that’s as nuts where I come from as it sounds to you. Not at all normal, not something that happens all the time, every day, you know?

“The leader Reagannt reports that they failed to find her. He reported to Riley, and Riley spread the word. Well, shortly after that Reagannt starts acting all weird. He tightens security, enforces a curfew, and like gets really strict. That’s not normal.

“The cops are… well, they’re doing everything you would expect a group to do before… before they overthrow a government.”

The Solune Prince (Preview)

Note: after Act II, Scene xi there is a (hopefully) noticeable increase in effort.

Note: This series has been postponed/cancelled, and set to private.

Table of Contents

Act I

Act II


This page is occasionally behind. If you’re looking for the most recent chapters, check out the category here: Recent Chapters

First draft disclaimer:

This narrative is a first draft, and is therefore subject to grammar errors, repetitiveness, lack of clarity, and other issues. Later drafts will smooth such things over, but for now they remain. Please be tolerant.

Want a Different Story?

Alice and Finch


Other works

Daniel Triumph

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The Solune Prince (Preview)

Two armies rush towards each other. They do not stand on a battlefield, not a proper one. They come together in the city, the Lussa City. The fight here, shamelessly. One side defends the city, the other defends its royalty. How could the police have come to oppose the royal family?

Outside influence. The promise of power. Chloe was absolute on these two points. She gained a lot useful information from one of them before he realized what she really was. Chloe was member of the Solune royalty, a direct blood relation of the Sollussa, and therefore part of the Lussa royal family. They were to be enemies.

And now, she watched herself rushing towards him, a subtly curved, singe edged sword in hand. The police had iron riot shields. They were defending themselves against jitzer incendiaries.

Chloe realized that she might be leading a charge of some sort. Her enemies were the uniform uniformed police. Her allies appeared to be both the rich, and the poor. She had no idea why a majority of her group were rough looking citizens, but she also had no idea why she was leading an army in the first place.

She watched herself closely. Her sword drew sparks from shields, her left arm rending them from the grasps of their owners and launching them into the opposition. Around her, a crowd rushed for the opening, others continued to throw incendiaries that shattered across the steel walls of buildings.

Chloe studied her duel against that man, the unwary informant. She appeared to be talking to the man, but she couldn’t make out her own words, and they did not lie in her memories. This was not a vision of the past. The man shouted back in a fury of parries and blows. Chloe noticed that, while she was clearly overpowering the man in both skill and strength, she didn’t seem to be trying to actually hit him.

And then, just as things got interesting, just as the tides might have been shifting, Chloe awoke to a knock at her door.

Soren stood at the open threshold. She held two sheathed sabres at her side, clasped between her stiff forarm and her hip.

“Come, youth, it is time to practice.”

Chloe sat up. If what she had dreamt really was a vision of the future, then she was to improve her abilities, and by quite a large margin.

Every once and a while, you write a few thousand words into a first draft and then realize that you’ve constructed a giant mess, full of contradictions and useless plot lines. Worse, the foundation plot has no clear resolution, even in your, the writer’s mind, and you wish it didn’t exist at all.

For me, that story was the Solune Prince, the story of Chloe’s first experience outside of the Solune Kingdom. The problem is, I knew that I would have to return to it at some point. The Solune Prince is an important part of Chloe, it’s her transition from a ditzy genius to a ditzy genius conqueror. She follows in the footsteps of her mother. This is to be either the next, or next next project; The Solune Prince.

This project is an indirect sequel to Evidence.

Daniel Triumph.

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