Alexandre Jutt’s Journal – I, Woman

This is another page from Alexandre Jutt Dirge’s journal. She is a Masters of Chemistry student at the Solune Academy (Officially named the Solune Royal house of Sophia.)

She is known for having a scathing tongue and being extremely judgemental. She is also considered beautiful. Tall, well endowed, and having pale and clear skin. Hated by most, loved by few.

I, Woman.

As a woman, I can confirm that woman are primarily useless.
Even now, as I get my masters degree in Kemia, I have contributed nothing to the world.
There is, of course, a shift that comes in most women’s lives,
When they become the most valuable class of human on the planet.
Women and children.
The time between marriage (when there is no escape) and parenthood,
That is when a woman is truly the most valuable.
However, they are still of little worth.
It is not until a woman has a child that she herself exits childhood.
Suddenly, at the moment she holds her infant,
She becomes masculine. Focused.
As the child grows, and becomes more independent, so does she.
Two children or more is mandatory.
One is a form of slow, dull torture for the entire family unit.
Children must be socialized, as the woman must.
A single child is like a single parent. Useless and damaged.
Do your best, Alexandre, you lone child. Find friends.

After this point, ideally in the late twenties, life begins.
Everything before this moment was in first and second gear,
But you will now coast in third at all times,
Find second in the home,
First in the bedchamber,
And overdrive, is your passions, within and without.

Adult women; mothers and grandmothers, are useful.
That is why brothers, husbands and fathers spend so much time ferrying them to that stage.
The patriarchy is hormonally constructed
To make women perfect.
Sophia. Women become repositories of wisdom.
From Sophia to Paglia, to Wollstonecraft to Asphasia, to Gwenhime to Chloe,
To you and I. Everyone could use a little more wisdom.
So, bachelorettes and girls, what the fuck are you doing?
The world needs its heroes.

Thanks for listening, ἐφημερίς. No one else listens like you. Usually, they hate me whenever I dare to speak, and so I am silent.

Looking for love,
Alexandre Jutt Dirge.

Alexander Jutt’s Journal – Epinephrine (a different page)

Daniel Triumph.

You can follow me:
For updates: Facebook, and Twitter

for art: DeviantArt and Instagram.

“Daaaan”’s Epic list of Albums

These are my favourite albums, off the top of my head. I listen to a small list of great bands and that’s it. Obviously, this list was made for a girl.

Best

  1. Crucible (Halford) [a favourite]
  2. Falling Up (Falling Up)
  3. Youthanasia (Megadeth) [thinking of you]
  4. Screaming for Vengeance (Judas Priest)
  5. Super Collider (Megadeth) [The haters can get over it. You are my track #2]
  6. Crashings (Falling Up) [My heart, it hurts, cause it, never catches its breath!]
  7. United Abominations (Megadeth)
  8. The World Needs a Hero (Megadeth)
  9. Killing is my Business…and Business is Good (Megadeth)
  10. Painkiller (Judas Priest)
  11. Turbo (Judas Priest) [I’m your Turbo Lover!]
  12. Invincible (Michael Jackson)
  13. Your Sparkling Death Cometh (Falling Up)
  14. Reminiscence (Far From Reality)
  15. Risk (Megadeth) [See Super Collider.]
  16. Unfold (Almah)
  17. Glory (Britney Spears)
  18. Hours (Falling Up)
  19. Ram it Down (Judas Priest) [Got me through some hard times]
  20. Firepower (Judas Priest)
  21. House Full of Caverns (Falling Up) [Possibly the best instrumental album ever]

Gr8

  1. Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness (Smashing Pumpkins)
  2. Dangerous (Michael Jackson)
  3. St. Anger (Metallica) [You give me STANGER. And I want my anger to be healthy!]
  4. Defenders of the Faith (Judas Priest)
  5. Sad Wings of Destiny (Judas Priest)
  6. The Human Paradox (Fractal Cypher)
  7. Crooked Teeth (Papa Roach)
  8. Captiva (Falling Up)
  9. Dystopia (Megadeth)
  10. Fangs! (Falling Up)
  11. Countdown to Extinction (Megadeth)
  12. F.E.A.R. (Papa Roach)
  13. Redeemer of Souls (Judas Priest)
  14. Adore (Smashing Pumpkins)
  15. Rust in Peace (Megadeth)
  16. Dawn Escapes (Falling Up)
  17. Sin After Sin (Judas Priest)

Normal Great

  1. The Connection (Papa Roach)
  2. Restart (Newsboys)
  3. British Steel (Judas Priest)
  4. Warrior (Kesha)
  5. Demolition (Judas Priest)
  6. Peace Sells…But Who’s Buying? (Megadeth)
  7. Midnight on Earthship (Falling Up)
  8. Stained Class (Judas Priest)
  9. The Black Market (Rise Against)
  10. The Paramour Sessions (Papa Roach) [Time is running out!]

Pretty Good

  1. Stained Class (Judas Priest)
  2. Satellite (P.O.D.)
  3. Cannibal (Kesha)
  4. Femme Fatale (Britney Spears)
  5. Clarity (Zedd)
  6. True Colors (Zedd)
  7. Blackout (Britney Spears)
  8. Scripted (Icon for Hire)
  9. Halcyon Days (Ellie Goulding)
  10. Endgame (Megadeth)
  11. E.V.O. (Almah)
  12. So far So Good… So What? (Megadeth)
  13. Dark Adrenaline (Lacuna Coil)
  14. Resurrection (Halford)
  15. No More Hell to Pay (Stryper)
  16. Endgame (Rise Against)
  17. Jugulator (Judas Priest)

Good

  1. Liberman (Vanessa Carlton)
  2. Fallen (Stryper)
  3. Mnemos (Falling Up)
  4. Cryptic Writings (Megadeth)
  5. Nostradamus (Judas Priest)
  6. Th1rt3en (Megadeth)
  7. Angel of Retribution (Judas Priest)
  8. Rainbow (Kesha)
  9. Baptism of Fire (Glenn Tipton)
  10. Winter Songs (Halford) [Metal Christmas!]
  11. Point of Entry (Judas Priest)
  12. Bright Lights (Ellie Goulding)
  13. Dawn of the Brave (Van Canto)

Daniel Triumph.

Other Stuff

One of my earliest video games

Alexandre’s Inquiry

If you’re new to this series, or want to review, you can follow these links:

6 Primary Dawn IIII

Finch left his class very confused about natural studies and science. He headed toward the lounge and cafeteria building. He found a table and sat down. He looked around for anyone he knew, and shortly after returned to staring at the table. Eventually, the sneakiest person he knew snuck up on him.

“Finch!”

He knew the voice. “Alice?”

It was not the first time she had come to him at lunch time. In fact, they had planned around it, scheduling his classes specifically avoid running during her lunch. So, often they ate together.

“What have today?” Alice asked.

Finch rummaged and took out two sandwiches. Alice’s digestive system didn’t really like anything that wasn’t meat, but bread was cheap, and they were both living on her payroll, so she didn’t complain.

“Wonderful!”

Across the room, Alexandre entered, followed by her new friend. They saw Alice and Finch and joined them.

“What did you get for lunch!” Alice shouted.

“Uhh, nothing.” Alexandre said.

“What?” Lunesca asked, “You don’t have a lunch?”

“No.”

[July 27: The writer stopped. He has lost his inspiration. Or better yet, he has been inspired to write something else… or focus on his classes. Something. He has resolved to take it easy and finish the book anyway. For your sake.

This book began to solve a problem in the writer’s life, but now he’s solved it. So, it will solve a different (although likely lesser) problem now instead.]

Lune sucked her teeth. “Do you ever bring food?”

She sat down next to Alice. Finch moved over to make room for Jutt, but Jutt continued standing.

“No.” Alexandre crossed her arms.

Lunesca made a face, a really stern, sort of disappointed face. Alexandre scowled, turned, and began walking away.

“Where is she going?” Lune asked.

“You made her mad, and she has no reason to stay,” Alice said, “of course she would leave. She doesn’t want to deal with you and she doesn’t have to!”

“What?”

Finch shrugged. “That’s how she is.”

 

As they spoke, Ansel entered the room. It was much larger than he expected, and it was all open concept.

“What a feat of engineering!” He thought, “There aren’t even supports. How did they do this? I wonder of Alex knows.”

Ansel looked around, and saw her exiting the building. He followed.

 

“So she just got triggered?” Lunesca asked, “She’s that type? Touchy?”

“Not really, it’s actually a lot worse.” Said Finch.

“Tell me.”

Finch at some of his sandwich. It was mostly cheese. Alice’s had no cheese, since her dairy tolerance ended shortly after she was weaned.

Finch started. “Alexandre was in the mob, you don’t remember? You’re the one who brought it up when you guys met.”

“So?”

“So!” Finch threw up his hands.

Then he had an idea. He grabbed Lunesca’s arm from across the table, her right with his right, and then with his left he reached under and grabbed her neck. Lunesca, of course, tried to stop him, but her right arm was in the way of her left, and Finch had control of it.

“What!”

“So, this is how she’s been conditioned to respond.” He let go and sat down again. “In the gangs, she’s told me, you just fight it out. Someone argues with you? Beat the shit out of them. Show them who’s boss.”

Lunesca considered this, rubbing her arm. They ate the rest of their food in silence. Alice kept glancing over to see how Lune was taking it.

When they were done, Lunesca sighed.

“So her default response is to fight, and since she’s a civilized person, she leaves instead, is that it?”

“Yeah.”

Lunesca frowned. “If I wasn’t such a weak bitch I’d fight her.”

“What language!” said Alice.

“Well,” she shrugged, “Alexandre Dirge is going to have to get used to leaving.”

Table of Contents

Alexandre’s Inquiry

5 Primary Dusk II

“This course is an introduction to Greek Rhetoric. If this is not your class, and I know it isn’t yours Corey, then please leave now before I start,” the professor said, writing the name and code on the board.

Four people, including the person the professor stared at, stood up to leave. Ansel tried to hold in a laugh. This was his first class of the day, and he was very excited. It seemed that most of the professors were more intelligent than him, and it was extremely humbling. In academia, it seemed, his intellect was far less unique. This did not discourage him; instead it became a driving force. Intellect is nothing without action, and most of these kids (older than him) hadn’t done anything. He had started a band.

And then she walked it, and it was like the first time all over again. Ansel nearly vomited, but he didn’t. He turned away and tried to act all cool. Alexandre Dirge passed by him.

He said, “Nice teeth.”

She froze in his periphery. “What?”

He looked up at her and she staggered, “What!”

“Do you two know each other?”

“Yeah, she’s my bitch.”

Lune gave Alexandre an incredulous look. As far as she was concerned, they were friends now, and men didn’t get away with saying shit like that to friends. Alexandre, to her confusion, blushed.

“Yes, and you’re my slut. And here I thought Degenerate culture was dead.”

“Can’t kill the Degenerate movement!”

Lunesca searched her mind. She had heard of this she had—“Are you Lussa?”

“Nope,” they both said.

“I’m a musician, you know? I played in the Lussa City, although I was centralized in the Djeb.”

“Yes, we go back.”

For the first time, Lune noticed that Alexandre’s teeth were silver. She didn’t feel like asking questions, so she didn’t.

The professor said, “Can you please sit down if you are in this course?”

“Right.” Alexandre said.

They sat next to Ansel, and shortly after the lecture began.

The professor spoke about how Greece was originally thought to be a fictitious or religious location lost in time, until they began finding documents from it. He then handed out the textbook. (All textbooks were free with classes; that is, included in tuition.)

Ansel looked at the publisher’s page first. He wanted to know how out-dated it was. It read 3910, and it was translated by Chloe Rhye.

“Alex… isn’t Chloe Rhye part of the royal family?”

“Yes.”

“And isn’t she… pretty young? Like your age?”

“Sort of.”

“Then how is she the translator of a hundred year publication?”

“…I’ll explain later.”

Ansel shrugged.

The professor went on. He was called Dr. Fagen, and he seemed to already know some of the students.

“The Greek Rhetoricians were divided in three. First, there were the Sophists, who were almost universally hated. It seems to me that they were something like infomercials that sold themselves. The Sophist’s texts were all lost or destroyed—or not yet discovered. What we know of them, therefore, is second hand, and it seems that they were quite despised.

“Right, as I was saying, they were like infomercials. They were fairly interesting to the masses, they gave knowledge that wasn’t all that useful but was knowledge nonetheless, and they charged for their services. Most rhetoricians spoke for free, and tried to educate, so their methods were looked down upon by many. The other two were the rhetoricians that were loved, and the rhetoricians that spoke in the courts—usually these were the accused themselves. Later, we will also talk about the philosophers.”

Someone asked what the difference between a philosopher and a rhetorician was.

“Good question. You can be a rhetorician and say nothing as long as you do it in an interesting manner. A philosopher can be as boring as a block of wood and as long as he is pursuing Truth, he is a philosopher.”

Someone else raised a hand and asked why the professor used male pronouns to describe philosophers. It was a woman.

“So far, all the philosophers I have read about or met were men. If you would like to change that, please do. I’ve been looking, fear not.”

He was frowned at.

Ansel laughed, and then he too was frowned at. Lunesca decided to join in, and then Alexandre, and then most of the class was laughing at this strange answer. The professor waited.

He added, “I suspect it’s because women are less interested in pointless fights, about half of philosophy is exactly that. It’s a mark of intelligence in my opinion. Although as far as Sophist rhetoric—well I’d better not say that.”

Table of Contents

The First of Many

After my previous “avant-garde” poetic endeavour, I figured I’d share another one. This is, of course, dedicated to the person I wrote it for.

***

“I feel it only necessary to preface a work such as this with a quote.” – [Name Removed]

[Waves] [Close our eyes and count slow,] (Falling Up) (Falling Up)
[In this moment things are getting dangerous.
Oh no.
I can’t find my way.
All these things that left me in their waiting.
—I keep shaking], [feel the wounds (Falling Up)
Hold my hands cradling all the souls] (Falling Up)
But [your body’s empty now,
As I hold you—now gone I miss you,
But I TOLD you—
I remember the bad times,
More than the good.] (Megadeth)
There’s a short list
Of things “I should!”
[I loved you to Death…
I loved you to DETH!] (Megadeth)

[They’re {running} away,
Stirring up dust in the line,
{She} found a place with none of us.
But the words that she said sounded peculiar and strained
Like she couldn’t believe the words that] (Falling Up)
Came from her lips, She said,
“[You’re on you own now, dressed in armour.
If you run faster, you’ll forget.] (Falling Up)
WHY ARE WE YELLING?”
[And now I owe,
I owe the voices in my head,
They said, “were these things miracles?”
Oh-Uaoh, my heart beats like a helicopter.] (Falling Up)
[*Electric noise*
So you want deliverance that {fif}teen years couldn’t bring,
Or you want to bury all the evidence so far down.
All your dreams are always coming true
Either way you still find you take a life
You TAKE A LIFE, OUA– –AOH!] (Falling up)

[Now my heart is shaking and terrified,
But some how you might rescue me.] (Falling Up)
[But you will break your back fighting,
Before you let them break your pride.] (Megadeth)
[Only yesterday
they told me you were gone.
All these normal people,
will I find another one?

I said I need you, does that make me wrong?
Am I a weak man, are you feeling strong?
My heart was blackened, it’s bloody red
A hole in my heart, a hole in my ––––!
I forgot you said,
“ONE DAY YOU’LL WALK ALONE…”
— —
Who will help me up?
Where’s the helping hand?
Will you turn on me?
Is this my final stand?] (Megadeth)

[Turn the handle to the shadowlands,
Legs will break like shattering glass] (Falling Up)
Asking my
[First mistake—
last mistake.
Next mistake,
no more mistakes!] (Megadeth)
[INSOMNI-OMNI-OMNI-IA
—My swollen bloodshot eyes!
INSOMNI-OMNI-OMNI-IA
I’ll do anything for peace – I keep waking up
a solemn oath I make
cross my heart please let me sleep…] (Megadeth)

My swollen, bloodlet eyes!
Sees visions in the skies
[INSOMNI-OMNI-OMNI-IA] (Megadeth)
I have the map, the key and,
I [can see the future.] (Falling Up)
An outstretched hand,
Leave in my sutures.
I pray, if it Please you.

[No lost memories,
they’re just a dream, a fantasy;
in agony, lost family,
and lost for a dream.
Gone now! Yet I’m full of hate] (Fractal Cypher)

[In this world that I created,
I’m intoxicated.] (Lacuna Coil)

[THIS WAS MY LIFE,
THIS WAS MY FATE—] (Megadeth)

[I’ll probably end up in flames
Before the end of the night] (Icon for Hire)
[—A visionary that made it.] (Zedd feat. Logic)

[I like the way that I make you itch
And all the reasons I give you to bitch] (Megadeth)
[I swear we’ll flood your city,
No choice it’s what you’re getting.] (Falling Up)
[Come on take my hand and follow,
Open virgin eyes to see,] (Anarchy Club)
[I like the way that you let me in
The way you look
when the walls cave in.] (Megadeth)

[Don’t play the hero,
There is no past there is no future.] (Fractal Cypher)
[Attack the church dynamic, attack the family
Keep the public undisciplined till nothing left is sacred] (Megadeth)
[COWARDS ARE UNHOLY
PARASITES THAT HIDE] (Halford)
[This open wound will kill us all.] (Fractal Cypher)
[—But strength is born from weakness,
And this is where I fall.
I step up to the enemy
And rise from where I crawled.] (Halford)

[This could be all the heaven you need
Life can be wicked, mean and cold
Could this be the end of your living terror?
Come with me, and I’ll train your soul …
Just one thing that I want you to know] (Megadeth)
You can leave, am I a fallen fool?
Come with me, you’ll know what it’s for,
Soon enough—*chokes*

[You’ll never see, a ray of daylight,
So far in debt, you’re struggling to survive—] (Megadeth)
[God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him]; (Nietzsche)
[WHIP THE BACK, OF YOUR MESSIAH, YOUR PEACE KILLS BY DEATH.] (Halford)
[What water is there for us to clean ourselves?] (Nietzsche)
[Detonate the human bomb, hands are all awash in blood.] (Halford)
[…who will wipe this blood off us? …Must we ourselves not become
gods simply to appear worthy of it?] (Nietzsche)
[Upon my podium, as the / Know it all scholar
Down in my seat of judgement / Gavel’s bang, uphold the law
Up on my soapbox, a leader / Out to change the world
Down in my pulpit as the holier- / than-thou-could-be-messenger of God!
… Holy Wars.] (Megadeth)
[Carnage of the scriptures, Slaughter of the lamb.
Break the neck of the white dove, Rundown by the tracks of blood.] (Halford)

[I am, I am really afraid,] (Falling Up)
[Because I don’t say it,
don’t mean I ain’t Thinkin’ it,] (Megadeth)
[But maybe it’s meant to be this way, {rough},
‘Cause we are the young in love.
I am, I am really afraid,
But I am your protector!
You kno-ow,
You’ll be never alone again…] (Falling Up)
[Father, Healer, Deliver me from broken love.
Stay here, Closer, Let me hear your voice of love.
Saviour, Redeemer, Bring me to this place of peace.] (Falling Up)
[The human charioteer drives his in a pair;
and one horse is noble and of noble breed,] (Plato)
[Jesus, garden,] (Falling Up)
[and the other is ignoble and of ignoble;
The driving of them of necessarily
gives the human a great deal of trouble.] (Plato)
[My broken heart is so in need.] (Falling Up)

[Can you hear my calling?] (Fractal Cypher)
[Lost in a room of mirrors,
There’s only one way out.] (Halford)
[Down on the streets below
Bright city lights would glow
The energy would rise
And through the heat I’d gaze
Still counting empty days
With fire in my eyes] (Judas Priest)

[And I don’t know where I’m going
But I know it’s going to be a long time] (Ellie Goulding)
[I like the way that your stomach knots] (Megadeth)
[You didn’t go to heaven, You’re down in hell with me.] (Megadeth)
[Pearls of wisdom hit the floor, There’s nothing you can do.] (Megadeth)
[But don’t say a word.] (Ellie Goulding)

[In some magnetic trance
Our beating hearts would dance
And crash down from afar.
Oh how strange fate is.
Never dreamed of this,
Fever—You set my soul on fire,
Fever—You fill me with desire,] (Judas Priest)
Fever—[I’m more alive I’ve ever been] (Ellie Goulding)
FEVER—[I WANNA BE THE KING!] (Megadeth)
[—So now I give you all my sin

I’ve chosen you; I’ve chosen you—
But don’t say a word.
And if I save us, and I fall down
I will leave your words behind now.] (Ellie Goulding)
[If you never, held me under,
If you never] [lost your dream (Ellie Goulding)
Why are we marching
In perfect harmony?
‘Cause you carry the burden,
Lost in this nightmare.] (Far From Reality)
[A storm is coming, get ready] (Megadeth)
You hesitate, I don’t care
Here I am, for I have come—
[Louder than an atom bomb {and}
Brighter than a thousand suns!] (Judas Priest)

So [Like a good old-fashioned beating
Within inches of your life;] (Megadeth)
[All the little cuts will bleed!] (Falling Up)
And [Don’t ask anyone for help,
They won’t know what to do,] (Megadeth)
[Every day, passing by,
seems closer than yesterday] (Far From Reality)
[The quickest way to end the war
Is lose.] [You never hear my thunder.] (Megadeth) (Ellie Goulding)

[Goodness Gracious, I can’t seem to stop] (Ellie Goulding)
[I could almost be the ghost of myself] (Fractal Cypher)
[And there is a law of Destiny,
that the soul which attains any vision of truth
in company with a god
is preserved from harm until the next period,] when (Plato)
[I have returned, armed with pages of text,
Till I saw a clear way to die] (Far From Reality)
[With mankind resurrected
Forever to survive
Returns from Armageddon to the sk{y}] (Judas Priest)

[—You better learn to dance in the rain,
Instead of wait for the sun,] (Megadeth)
[Spread your wings and take flight over the hills,] (Almah)
[Flying high on rapture
Stronger free and brave] (Judas Priest)
[Now walk the earth!] (Falling Up)

Life ends when we feel no pain—
—Until then, we strive—
Choked that the beginning—
[You exhaust me in the most beautiful way.
You inspire me at my most terrific
And at my most degenerate.] (To be Continued)
[Now I know that I’m alive,
All the loneliness is filled
By you, inside] (Falling Up)
(Stay) Listen to
All my dreams, love that lasts, pain that heals
And take, take your time
But move so fast, ’cause hearts move on—
This ti-i-i-ime it means something
(Dreams will fall, love will spill)
This ti-i-i-ime it means—
*guitar bridge*
THIS TIME.] (Falling Up)

[Seems this house is bursting at the seams.
Oh no.
Is it fine to say I’m ready to believe?
Stay here,
Closer.] (Falling Up)
[My life is everything
That feeds my thirst
That causes sin
My wants are all I care
No shame and guilt,
there’s nothing there] (Megadeth)
[My heart, it hurts, ‘Cause it never catches its breath
—I’m still staying when I should have left
Come to where the waters meet the shore—I’ll be there
And I will stay, leaving you] (Falling Up)
[Flashing sharp, don’t be afraid,] (Falling Up)
[In this moment things are getting dangerous,] (Falling Up)
[Against your heart; don’t be afraid!] (Falling Up)

[The names of the artists were added later, to prove plagiarisms.
– Alexandre Jutt]

 

Table of Contents